Gertrude Bell

In History class on Friday, we learned about a woman named Gertrude Bell. Gertrude Bell was one of the first women admitted into Oxford University, where she continued to butt heads with professors, face adversity, and be the first woman to graduate with an A in history. Pretty cool, huh? well she didn't stop there, oh no. She then went on to travel the world, learn multiple languages, flies planes, etc. She did this all as an independent woman, and because she wanted to. For the whole rest of the day, i kept thinking about Gertrude Bell. How cool would it be to explore the world, and do good things for others just because you wanted to? To have something to wake up and look forward to everyday? Our entire lives, we get though middle school, waiting for high school, though high school, waiting for college. But what happens when we get through college? work? forever? i guess so.

I'm the first in my family to go to college. i know i won't be the last. The strange thing is that although my younger sister is, well, younger than me, i have always felt that i lived in her shadow. Weird, isn't it? Now she's looking into school, and it appears that she'll be going and doing what my parents wanted me to do my whole life. And i'm tired of always comparing myself to Alyssa. I love her, but who wants to be measured by the worth of their younger sister?

Plus, the older i get, the more my heart has grown for people. i love people, i love doing things for people, and i love to invest my time in people. I have a passion for people lol. So when i was hearing about the life of Gertrude Bell, i started to wonder, "what might it be like to give a significant amount of my life to other people? to do nice things for other people, just for the heck of it? and at the same time learn about those people, how they live, what they love, see how they think?"

Then i remembered something my friend had told me about the Peace Corps. I'd never really paid much attention to it before, but the more i look into it, the more i think i might like it. i could go away for about 2 years, help other people just because, and while teaching these people about myself, they would teach me too! i don't know if that's what i'll end up doing, but it certainly is worth looking into, i think. Besides, i have another 3 years before i can even start doing anything like that. but I do think it would be a good thing for me to do. So i don't know if this is something god is telling me to do, or if it's just my own fanciful thinking lol but rest assured, this is something i will be delving into further in the future :)

Proverbs 16

I've been feeling really burdened lately. My heart is hurting for a close friend of mine who isn't making the best decisions, and it hurts me to see her hurting herself in the long run. And i had no idea what to do about this burden that i have... And then it hit me: duh, go to the one place where the Big-Guy-In-Charge talks directly to you! lol but the problem was, i haven't opened a Bible in about 2 years :( so i grabbed my little brother and his Bible, and opened up to Proverbs, practically the perfect place to start when you're looking for words of wisdom lol

You really should go look it up and read through the chapter, its really very good lol but i'm just going to point out a few things that stuck out to me, and this situation:

16:1 & 2--"People make plans in their hearts, but the Lord controls what they say. Everything a man does might seem right to him, but the Lord knows what that man is thinking."
       This verse really stuck out to me. I have been worried for a good four days about my friend, because i can see quite obviously where she is headed down this path because of decisions she wants to make, and she can't seem to fathom what she is doing. She seems to think that she's "having fun" but in reality, she's blinded to how much more miserable she has become ever since she let the devil get a foothold in her life. Anyway, these verses showed me that although she seems to be making these decisions and going down these paths alone, God knows. God knows what she's doing, and how she will end up, and he's got her in his arms. Whether she wants to be there or not. And God is in control :) and that is comforting to me :) and in this passage, it keeps going back to the concept that God is in control of those who love him. I really like that about this passage.

16: 32-- "It is better to be patient than to fight. It is better to control your temper than to take a city."
     As of late, i've actually been getting kind of mad at my friend because of how she's been behaving. However, this just reminded me that getting angry at her will get me nowhere. All i can really do is pray for her, be there for her, and if the opportunity arises, try to show her, in a gentle way, how what she's been doing is affecting her and everyone around her.

I mean, i guess that's all i have for now... two posts in the same week, wow :) haha

goals :)

So i'm going to try to set some goals for the next few years of my life.. Who doesn't like goals? they give to a reason to wake up in the morning, and its so satisfying when you accomplish them. I personally like lists, so i think if i write them down, it might be easier to stay on track.

So, i guess i'll start with my goals that are the longest-term goals that i have, and work my way back to the present :)

-I'm going to be a millionaire someday :) no joke <3
-I am going to get my doctorate in History, and be a history professor, or whatever i can do with the degree :)
-I am going to get married before i turn 30... my biological clock is ticking you know ;)
-I am going to get out of Shepherd in 4 years lol
-I am going to get out of Shepherd with high grades :D
-I am going to get a newer, better working car lol
-I am going to get a job, so i don't have to be a burden to my parents anymore, and i can gain some independence lol
-I am going to lose 90 pounds by this time next year.. so like maybe 10 pounds every two weeks? if at all possible...
-I am going to become more active and get better, more healthy eating habits :)
-I am going to continue to stay on top of my schoolwork this semester :)
-I am going to work my hardest at forging and keeping relationships that will last a lifetime <3
-I am going to work on gaining a closer, more stable relationship with God :) <3
-I am going to do my laundry tomorrow :)

I originally wrote "i want to..." and then i realized what i wrote, and changed it to "i am going to..." because everyone wants things; it doesn't mean they always get them. i am going to work for these things :) and i'm going to do my best to do what God wants me to do <3

peace :)